My parents don't understand

The changes you go through as a young person are huge. Physically, emotionally, mentally: nothing is the same. And it can make you feel as if you are totally on your own. Suddenly it seems as if your parents no longer understand you.

It's hard for parents to watch their kids make mistakes and get hurt. But it's hard to learn without trying things out for yourself. You want more freedom. Your parents want to keep some control. It's hardly surprising that young people fight with their parents and that both teenagers and parents feel unheard and misunderstood.

The way forward…

The best way forward is to stop fighting and start talking. Until each of you stops to listen to and value the views of the other, then you'll keep hitting the same brick wall. Your parents need to trust that you will do what you say you will. You need to act in a way that makes you deserve their trust: stick to curfews, and stick to plans. Let them know if there's a change of plan, rather than have them find out some other way. The more they trust you, the more freedom you will be allowed, and the easier things will be for you all.

Treat your relationship with your parents with respect. Even though all relationships have their ups and downs, the fact that we stick at them and value them is a measure of how much we care. Usually, your parents are trying to protect you from the kinds of things that hurt them when they were your age. They'll be there to celebrate your achievements. And when things go wrong, chances are they'll be there for you too.

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My parents don’t understand

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